I have been studying different family structures, and how it
affects the children with a focus on how the family is affected economically. I observed a family and their structure when
the father was not with the family and how this impacted them. Fathers are
tremendously important in the family, but society today often neglects this fact. I do think this contributes greatly to the
issues our society faces today. Fathers
are a support to their wives and their children economically and emotionally. There are many reasons why fathers may not be
present in the home, possibly from death, divorce, incarceration, living in
another state for employment, among others.
I’m not saying that this in itself is evil, and I know there are many
extenuating situations that are individual to each family. There is no judgement from me, I am just
looking at statistics and how these things affect the family unit.
When a father is absent, women begin or continue to work to
support the family so they can meet the additional financial responsibilities. Many women take on a second job, and this
adds additional stress on the children.
I watched a documentary about a mother who was not educated and was
supporting her family on her own. She
worked at Burger King, and refused to ask for government assistance. She didn’t have a working car so she walked
to work 10.5 miles every day. Her
children were practically raising themselves and were living in below-poverty
conditions. She kept saying that she
wanted to go to school to get an education so she could get a better job. Her teenage sons, were ashamed of their
lifestyle and their poverty. They looked
down on their mother and said that they were going to go to college so they
could have a better life. It was a very
difficult situation for every member of the family. A film crew went back several years later as
a follow up to see how the family had changed.
They had upgraded from a trailer to a small home, and the mother was still working at
Burger King and walking to work. Neither
of the sons went to college, the oldest became a father when he was a senior in
high school, so he dropped out to support his wife and child. The other son, dropped out earlier than that
and had a drug problem and had been unemployed for two years and was getting
some government assistance to help provide for his wife and child. The mother was still insisting she was going
to go back to school to get a better education.
Her sons told her it was a great dream, but they didn’t believe that she
ever would.
So, what do you think?
I believe this mother had a dream, a deep desire to improve her position
in society and to help her family more.
However, she was disadvantaged in many ways and seemed to be in crisis
mode all of the time. I think when we
are in crisis mode it is difficult to see our way out of our challenges. I think we can get stuck if we are just
surviving all of the time, and often this in itself can prevent us from
thriving. While I think it is admirable
that she didn’t accept government assistance, I think that this temporary
assistance could have really helped her to progress out of her situation. I also think that the boys fell into the
statistics of drug problems, high school dropouts, and out of wedlock births. These statistics are strong when a positive
male role model or father is not present in the home.
Fathers and mothers are equally important. I think men get a bad rap in our society
today. They are represented in television
shows and movies as dumb, arrogant, self-serving, not valued in a home and
family. I love strong women, I feel that
I am one myself. Do I think that women
can do amazing things? Absolutely, do we
need men to define who we are?
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